Categories: Confessions

A Little Contemplation…Readjusting to a Dose of Reality

I’ve been back from my around the world trip for a full month now. More than a month, actually – about six weeks. It’s been an incredibly strange sensation, coming home after all of that time away from all of the people I love – for nearly half of the trip I traveled solo.

I think it would be terribly cliché for me to talk about all of the intensely touchy-feely things that I learned about myself over the past year – I did learn a lot, it would have been hard for me not too!

But beyond those self evident profundities, those “things” I learned, I think I’ve actively processed more about the experience in the past six weeks than I ever did while I was actually out there backpacking.

I went through every emotion possible over the past month and a half, and I kept it all off of the blog in an attempt to deny that I was quite so lost. I’ve talked before about the fact that I’m a crier…I am, I can’t help it, it’s how I process things.

So there was some crying.

But for the first few weeks especially I was just completely lost.

And now though, I pretty much feel like a spaz most days. I’ve gotten right back into the swing of things, visiting friends, seeing concerts (I heart CCR), hanging out with my niece and nephew (I love them to pieces!).

But I realized that there’re some things that are harder to get back right away.

  • How the heck do you feed yourself when you have to plan a week in advance?! I have eaten out at least one of my meals every single day for the past year. And in Asia, EVERY meal was lovingly made for me by someone else. Now though, what is this thing called cooking?! My favorite days are when my friend Niki invites me over for dinner…she calls, I manage to accept with just the right self-control, but really, inside my head I’m secretly cheering “Yea! Crisis averted. Thank the sweet baby Jesus, one meal down.”
  • What do I do with myself while everyone else is at work? I still work via the internet, so all of the “bonding” time I anticipated having with friends only happens outside of traditional work hours since they’re all nine-to-fivers. I know that one of the tips other travelers suggest is “exploring my home-town.” I’m sorry, I’ve lived here for mostly all of my 25 years of life, that’s just not an appealing option.
  • Why are there so many bloody choices? Although I wanted to burn my hideous orange and brown shirt after wearing it for the entire trip as one of my five shirts (and the only one that didn’t fall apart), there’s a simplicity that I miss.  Now, every morning I battle with my closet to make a choice…and some days I stay in my PJs as long as possible just to put it off – how ridiculous is that!

Beyond all of these silly little problems though, I’ve also had to come to terms with the fact that a lot of people, even the people who love me, are used to me being gone.

So, what I’m trying to say is, forgive me for the ramblings, I’m just a little adrift…